Love, Mom

  This one I cannot really be sure whether it was a sign or not. I was at a thrift store waiting in line to pay for a purchase when my attention was drawn to one necklace in their jewelry display. A beautiful beaded purple, lavender and gold necklace. I honestly don't ever recall buying jewelry at a thrift store which is in stark contrast to how many times I've gone to thrift stores and buy just about everything else. When the cashier came, I asked if he could tell me how much the necklace was, I'd made up my mind that if it was under $7.00 I'd buy it. He responded, "$3.99." I replied, "I'll take it." Other than it just being a purple necklace, my mother's favorite color, I wonder if there was something more to it.

  When I told someone my name recently, they thought I'd said 'Becky', which is my mom's name (and mine does not sound anywhere near that)!

At lunch, I'd of course been reading about signs, and was slightly disappointed to not have received the priest sign I'd asked for. So I suppose when I found this little heart in the community garden while I was thinking of you, I wondered if perhaps it was a sign from you Mom. I hope it is, thank you, if it is. And if not, it only made me think of the love I experienced having from you--which is just as good. ❤

 Sometimes, I just can't believe, can't get it, that you, my beloved mother, my mom, has gone forever from this world. Never to be in the body I knew you as again. You're really gone. Yesterday, 7/15/22, I asked--send me a sign. Send me a sign in the form of a priest. Let me know you're there--somewhere out there. Update 8/3/22: After 19 days with no sign (well, unless I count the audiobook on NDEs that mentioned a priest a week later...) I was beginning to lose hope on this one. But today, as my husband and I made the biggest purchase yet for the remodeling of our mold-infested home that we bought 3 years ago, but have never been able to live in, was my sign! As we were starting to load the 77 boxes of flooring into our vehicles, of all places, a priest was crossing from the parking lot to come into Costco! Of all the places! Given the importance (and my days of nervousness leading up to this day) of this giant purchase, it was just the right time for my mother to let...

I'd been wondering about the significance of a ring that you used to always wear. It was one of the few items I retrieved when I was there at your home. I just remember you wearing it a lot. When I got in the car for two consecutive mornings, the talk show on the radio was both about wedding rings. I got the feeling you're telling me it was the ring that signified your and Dad's relationship. When I wear it though, I try not to think about that, but rather as a reminder of you. Something that was always with you.

 As I got ready for the celebration of life event for you, later that day, my son was there with me in the bathroom. I was applying make-up, which I hardly ever do. He's watching me and looks up at me smiling, and says, "You look like Julie." That  was the exact phrase you used to tell me ever since I was little! (And I really don't think I look very much like my beautiful cousin, but it was always nice to hear.) Those 4 words and same intonation just like you would always tell me, Mom...it was so nice to hear that, thank you Mom.

 Friday, June 8th 2022 I visited your home for the second time today since you crossed. (The first time I was unable to "be" there. Dad was there the whole time, as were my husband and son. That time was taken up by socializing, a rather unusual occurrence for Dad.) This time I was able to look around a little closer, and take advantage of being there without Dad to allow me or my son to take something. Because as you know, you left everything you own to him. To the one who stressed you out your entire life, even until your last dying days. The one who I urged you to leave, even as a young child. But you and he must've had some lessons to learn from each other, I suppose. I took a few small sentimental tiny pieces of jewelry that I imagine you would want for me to have. I took small things because I could put them in my purse and have them hidden should Dad show up. And I was constantly looking out the window to make sure he wasn't. I wanted, desperately wanted, to st...

The first day back at work, the two people I helped who I needed to see their IDs both had birthdays within 3 days of your birthday. What were the odds of that!? Hello Mom.